A Car Non-Enthusiast Guide on How To Buy a Car


First disclaimer, cars aren’t important to me; except for when I can’t get to places without one.  I haven’t thought about cars, or even looked at a car closely for more than a decade.  Last year when one of my best friends visited me and saw my car, she exclaimed, “How quaint!  You still have the same car after all these years!”

My little Golf finally gave out after 12 years.  It needed a new transmission.  After several car repair shops and Kelley’s Blue Book research tools, I was informed that the cost of replacement was double that of the cost of the car.  That made me intensely sad.  After all, my Golf has been with us when we brought newborn Plumster home from the hospital.  It patiently accommodated all renditions of children’s car seats until Plum was finally car seat-free.  Last year I had to stop driving for two months when a complex ruptured thumb ligaments necessitated delicate hand surgery.  I still remember the exhilaration I felt the first day I was able to wrap my injured and surgerized thumb around the smooth leather-bound steering wheel.  The freedom from sitting behind the driver’s seat!

But life must go on.  After a week of trying to figure out ways to keep my old car going, the monkey clan decided that we needed a new car.  Oh the decidedly stressful process of finding a new car.  After two weeks of dealing with what to do, what to get, which dealership can give me the best price; basically, two weeks of mental abuse, I would like to impart some wisdom I gained from these two weeks of torture.  If you are knowledgeable about cars, and know what kind of cars you like, then this post is not for you.  If you are a car novice, then I hope you find this blog post helpful.  So here is: my car non-enthusiast’s guide on “how to buy a car”.

First, decide on what kind of car you NEED.

How big and how tall: This depends on how many people do you regularly transport in the car, what else do you need to fit in your car, and how easily do you need to maneuver your car into a parking space, and out.  For instance, a single lady with an acoustic drum set to log around for gigs in New York City needs a different car compared with a Mom of two children who lives in Texas.  For the life of me, I remained completely ignorant of the types of cars that were out on the road.  My knowledge of cars resemble children’s book on cars: “Look!  A RED car!  Here is a BLUE car!  Look!  A Black truck!  Here is a TRAIN!”  Believe it or not, Monkey King gave me a pop quiz on the road for me to identify what kind of car was around us: was it a crossover?  minivan?  SUV?  truck?  I couldn’t care less: small-ish ones were sedans and big-ish ones were trucks.  So yeah, here’s my very simple guiding principle to choosing a car that is right for you: if you live in a city and you want to be able to see the incoming traffic as you back out of your driveway, get a car that is higher off the ground.  If you have more than one child, you might want a car that can accommodate more than five people for days when both children have their respective play dates (Lexus, LR4 all can accommodate seven people easily enough).  If you don’t need the height, a regular sedan will do quite nicely.  If you don’t need the height nor the space, hey, live it up with a two-seater sports car.

How many wheel-drive: That depends largely on what kind of winter condition you live in.  For us, even though we live in sunny California, we decided that we needed the new car for safe snowboard trips.  It was no fun putting on tire chains in frigid cold air in the middle of the night.  So we chose an all wheel drive (AWD) car.  Ok, so far, we need a car that was large enough for snow gears, to transport one child and her play date, all wheel drive, yet small enough to get in and out of parallel parking spots for quick morning drop-offs.

After you narrowed the choices down to cars that can accommodate your life style, then ask yourself how does it relate to the environment.

How efficient do you want your car to run: I broadened my research to not only include hybrid and electric cars, but also hydrogen fuel cell cars as well.  The long waiting period for electric and hydrogen fuel cell cars was prohibitory for me.  I needed a functional car right away.  But if I had the time to wait for one, Honda’s Clarity was on the top of my list.

How much: Ok, now we are getting into the nitty gritty on how to close a deal.  If you don’t care how much you pay for your car, then skip this part and move on to the payment department.  But if you don’t want to get ripped off, here is what I did to get the best price: first, go to the car manufacture’s website and virtually build your car.  Go through all the different models and colors and packages.  The add-on packages were quite eye-opening for me.  This was where I discovered certain things that I assumed were basic enough that they would come with the car.  You know, things like the carpet on the floor, or cup holders, or truck covers, were actually add-ons for some cars.

Once you know the exact car maker, the model and the add-ons, price them out online.  Now, set that as your maximum value.  Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT, pay that price.

The first dealer told me that he didn’t do deals.  The supply of the hybrid car that I wanted was so low and the demand so high, that there was no deal to be made.  The second one told me to make an appointment and just come in, “we will work out the numbers that work for you.  Don’t worry!”  Humm… ok, at least this one was willing to work with me.  When we showed up at this dealership, there was a nice lad who let us test-drive the car.  Then negotiation began.  To say nothing of the “Art of War” written by the Chinese philosopher Lao Zhi, or the deceit and betrayal conveyed by “The Game of Thrones”; let’s just say, these men can outdo any of the Lannisters.  After realizing that our budget was a hard line, the boss of the boss of the nice lad printed out the specs of a car with the wrong car model, wrong color, wrong add-ons, but look!  It’s the right price!  Since I had built the various combinations of models online, I knew exactly how much this other model and all the add-ons he tried to sell me cost.  After a quick mental math (thank you Mom for making me take abacus in Taiwan!), I realized he was not making a deal at all!  He was, in fact, upselling a less desirable car that he can’t get rid off in his lot, while making us pay for all the upgrades to make it look like the model we wanted.  This man had the audacity to tell us we got ourselves a great deal!  By this point, the shop was closing and poor little Plumster was hungry and tired from hanging out in the dealership all day.

It was at this time, a co-worker informed me that both Costco and AAA have deals with carmakers.  I checked the AAA website and lo and behold, the price was four grand lower than the MSRP!  The catch is you have to buy it from the dealership specified by AAA.  By the time I called this third dealer, I was a seasoned, jaded, car-buying pro.  I rattled off the exact model I wanted and asked if he can give me the price quoted by AAA.  After a lot of back-and-forth of checking inventories with other dealers in the area, the KBB value of my old car, negotiating on the phone, text, and emails, YES, they can match that price!  We worked out a trade-in deal and scheduled for an appointment for car inspection and purchase of the new car in the upcoming weekend.

The drive over to the dealership was bitter sweet.  My old Golf had a turbo injected engine (GTI), so it drove like a dream after the said ailing transmission had a 10-15 minute warm up period where it choked along in first gear.  By the time I left my neighborhood, and onto the spacious road in Beverly Hills, I was really enjoying my ride.  I took the picture above at a STOP sign, wanting to relish this last  sweet moment with my beloved Golf.

I would like to say that the rest was easy.  That I came, picked up the new car and everyone was happy.  NOPE!  Well, the Golf inspection was fast, efficient, and straightforward.  Since we’ve already negotiated the price before showing up, you’d think we’d be out of there in one hour tops.  You see, after saying that they will sell me the car for that price, they still had to pick up the car from a different dealer’s lot.  This car was not in their inventory.  Apparently, by me calling around different dealers, there was now a bidding war among the dealers for this one-and-only car with my specifications.  So while we waited in a nearby restaurant having lunch (this time, I was smarter than to make Plum wait in the shop during meal time), I got a call from my dealer saying the car was no longer available (NO!).  Then all of a sudden, my text box lit up, the first dealer wrote, “let’s talk.  I have the car.”  There was a fourth dealer who texted, “I can bring the car in today.  Shall we proceed?”  The second dealer called directly to let me know that they had the right car now, can I come in?  It dawned on me that they were all talking about the same car.  “No thank you!” I copied and pasted that phrase five times to the various dealers I came in contact with.  Then… “bing!”  I got the text from my official dealer, “we have the car!”  Wow, I have not been to the stock trading floor in New York nor have I been to live auctions; but this one felt pretty intense and nerve-wrecking just the same.

After seven hours (yes, you read that right, SEVEN) spent with this dealer which included inspection, then the LONG hours of waiting for the new car, us inspecting the new car, test-driving it, they sent us to finance.  The good thing about purchasing cars in California is that you get your car registered at the car dealership without stepping foot in the DMV!  The bad thing about it is that you ended up in the dealership for a very long time.  Lots and lots of paperwork after, yes, I finally stepped into my new car and let her take me home.

As I followed along Monkey King and Plumster on the road, they kept waving at me.  Later on they told me that they were worried that I’d be sad.  They were right.  I was sad.  It was the end of an era.  This new car made a lot of alerting noises, trying to communicate to me like a newborn baby with cries that a new mother has yet to learn to decipher.  I am sure I will come to love this new car very soon, since it makes me feel safe on the road.  Best of all, I got the right car with the space, height, and price tag that I needed; with the fuel efficiency that our environment needed.

I hope your find these car buying tips helpful!  I would love to hear about your shopping tips!

 

 

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EATS: Sick Day Noodle Soup 

On my way out from work, I got a call that Plum was not feeling well.  I drove like a mad woman and hurried in to school.  “Mommy!”  Plum called out and ran to me.  We checked with a thermometer.  Indeed, she was running a low grade fever.

I had planned on having pizza tonight, but that won’t do if I wanted to nip this cold in the bud.  Here is my all-time-favorite cold remedy, if you would like to know: hot bath, hot noodle soup, hot ginger tea, and early bed time.  I usually prefer to make my own bone broth to ward off cold.  Unfortuantely, at the momemnt, all Plum wanted to do was to crawl into bed and go to sleep, so I needed to make this noodle soup pronto.  There was no time for the slow simmering nutritious goodness tonight.  In fact, there was not even time to go to the grocery store!

I looked into our pantry and found a box of chicken broth.  Yes!  I rummaged through our fridge and found a stalk of celery (when did we buy this?), an old red onion, half a knob of a ginger and some dry Japanease udon noodles.

While little Plum took her hot bath, I worked my magic broth in the kitchen.

Sick Day Noodle Soup

Makes 2 servings

 Ingredients:

  •  1 box (32 fl oz) of organic, low-sodium free-range chicken broth
  •  3 slices of fresh-ish ginger
  •  1 onion, julienned
  •  1 stalk of celery, sliced in half length-wise, and cut in to 2″ pieces
  •  Soy-based soup base
  • Noodles, of any kind
  • 1 cup of fresh green leaves, whatever you can find in your fridge
  • a handful of fresh basil, coarsely chopped

 Steps:

  •  Boil chicken broth with all ingredients except noodles and fresh greens (in my case, I found fresh spinach)
  • Put in noodles once soup is boiling.  I usually prefer to boil my noodles in a separate pot.  Today, we had a lot of dishes in the sink and no clean pot, so everything would be in one pot.
  • Season with soy-based soup base to taste
  •  Throw in the fresh green leaves once the noodles are done.  Turn off the stove
  • Ladle noodle soup into bowls as shown in the picture above
  • Garnish with fresh basil
  • Watch adoringly as your sick loved ones slurp and slurp your not-so-labor of love

My usual slow goodness chicken broth:

soup

After Plum came out of her bath, she happily slurped down two bowls of her make-do noodle soup, brushed her teeth, and went to sleep.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t have to call in for a sick day tomorrow.

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So This Is Midlife

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So, this is how it feels like to be 45 years old. 

Never in a million years would I predict that I’d perform on stage again.  In college, I danced with our campus Modern Dance Company; even won a scholarship to dance with the fiercely talented Murray Louis in his intensive summer workshop in SoHo after sophomore year.  After graduation, medical school, Howard Hughes research fellowship with a Science publication which propelled me to add on another six years of graduate school, residency, marriage, family, and career.  At no point in time did I fancy myself to deviate from the “normal” path carved out by thousands of physician scientists before me, including their fitness routine.  I ran 5k, 10k half marathons, marathons.  I tried several gym, hoping to shed a few post partum pounds and stay fit.  I tried to eat mostly healthy, though I did develop a taste for fine wine and cheese.  I got into mixed martial arts and thought I’d grow to become an old female Yoda one day: a tiny Asian fighter who speak fragmented English (I still might!). 

Life apparently has other plans for me.  A thump!  A thumb.  And there I was, nearly broken. I took a look in horror, watching my thumb dangling outward held only by the skin at the martial art school.  I took a deep breath and set my own thumb.  There after, I entered into an unfamiliar realm.  It was dark, insufferably sad, needing courage and perseverance in every turn, especially when the pain was severe.  I became a child for my 9 year-old daughter to care for.  My sweet child washed my hair, bathed me, tied my shoe laces.  My saintly husband took up almost all of the house chores and child transportation.  We subscribed to meal and grocery delivery service.  I became Uber’s daily customer so that I could keep going to work. 

Orthopedic hand surgery, occupational therapy, acupuncture, daily at-home therapy.  It took six months, and I finally felt stronger.  I sat there in silent tears the first time my thumb was able to wrap around the steering wheel (triumph!  freedom from Uber!).  This thumb rotation quickly advanced to being able to work the wine cork screw (another triumph!).  The first time my hand could feel temperature, and touch, I cried out loud this time, and just kept the warm water running over my hand.  All these milestones felt major to me, and are now forever etched in my mind. 

But what to do about exercise?  Going from working out five days a week to none was a dramatic blow to a physically active person.  We talked about partially returning to martial art where I don’t punch, don’t fall, don’t do partner work.  Yeah, what kind of martial art could that be I have no idea.  MK said to me, “What makes you happy?  You always seem happy when you get a chance to take a dance class.”  I was euphoric, actually, whenever I got to dance.  I started with Hip Hop and later added Dancehall.  I joined a Dancehall team with the goal of stage performance, and met several incredible ladies.  We rehearsed in excruciating detail-oriented repetitions (again!  again!), committing our muscles to remember and respond to music.       

When we walked onto the darkened stage, knelt down, with our heads bent, there was a collective intake of our breaths.  It was quick, and we held it there.  I felt suspended in time.  All those years ago, dancing with Murray Louis, with his drumming and his cat, now coming to a full circle. 

Stage light on.  This is 45.             

 

 

 

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No, Not Tiger Mom… Dragon Mom!


On our six-hour car ride to Mammoth, I busied myself searching for fun songs that we could all enjoy on the radio.

Plum: no not that one.

Me: how about this one.

Plum: how about you don’t play any song so that I can concentrate on my math homework?

Whose child is this?!! Oh yeah, mine. Definitely mine 😂

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Sisterhood in Cacophony

Happy International Women’s Day!  To celebrate this day, I am planning on helping out as many women friends as I can today.

I will go over some clinic pearls with my residents, coincidentally both female this month.

I will ask after the front desk clerks, the nurses and the therapists to see how they are doing.  Today I will actually stop and listen.

I will email my co-editor on the textbook we’ve been working on, and see if she needs help on finishing up that very last chapter.

Most of my beneficiaries so far are mothers of Plum’s friends.  We are all mothers who work full time jobs, juggling different hats in cacophony.  One of Plum’s science fair partner has scheduling conflicts and can not finish her assigned part of the project.  Her dad is coming home from an oversea business trip.  The project is due tomorrow.  “No problem, just bring the poster board over.  Plum and I will finish it tonight.  Enjoy your family time!” I texted her back early this morning before walking in to my clinic.  Plum’s other science project partner will be coming over after school to work on the project.  “If you want to have happy hour with your co-workers, I can feed your kid.”  I emailed the second mother during my lunch break.

I will edit the English version of a photography blog for my little cousin tonight, as soon as I am done helping with the poster.

I will work on the talk I am invited to give to an all-girls academy on how being a female immigrant shaped me to become who I am today.

I will talk to my daughter about the progress women have made, and how much more we need to accomplish.  Some of the women she admire are Maya Angelou, J K Rowling, Michelle Obama.  All strong, intelligent, compassionate, and talented female who are not afraid to speak their minds.

There is strength in sisterhood.  There is love in solidarity.  Being a modern career woman, I have become so efficient that I forget to pause.  During this morning’s tumor board, I sat down next to our medical oncologist, a female, and wished her Happy Women’s Day.  She looked at me wide-eyed and uttered, “so… what are we supposed to do with this day?”  You see, she is used to my customary greeting of, “hi how are you I have this patient I saw yesterday who really needs to get concurrent chemotherapy so can you see him tomorrow?” in a single breath.

By pausing to recognize this International Women’s Day, I discover that I am surrounded by  intelligent, hard-working women who are preoccupied with their work and families, just like me.  And I suspect, if I put in a little bit of time and effort to nurture our relationship, they could all blossom into friendship!  A beautiful, solid network of working women around me, that is what I would like to seed on this Women’s Day.

How about you?  How are you celebrating this day?

 

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I Am Sexy Like…

That moment in your Sexy Booty class when you realized that your instructor was not asking you to demonstrate you’ve reached the 9 months old toddler’s milestone when she asked you to crawl towards her.

Yeah, I am sexy like that.

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To Those You Love…

… show them:

Show them your appreciation.

Show them your adoration.

Show them your patience.

Show them your loyalty.

Show them your curiosity.

Show them your passion.

Show them your true self.

Be it your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, child, grandchild, parent, grandparent, friend.

Show them, your love.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

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Then They Came For Me

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Lately I haven’t been able to sleep.  After Women’s March, it seemed like things just kept on getting worse each day.

I immigrated to the US from Taiwan 30+ years ago; back when one couldn’t openly criticize the KMT government. We’ve all heard of stories of someone who knew someone who mysteriously disappeared in the middle of the night.  I remembered adults whispering in hushed tones when they were dissatisfied with certain policies.  Back in the early 80’s, Taiwan was basically a one party country under martial law.  The US was a beacon of light for the world.

I became a US citizen in college. I remembered being so proud that day during swearing in: to belong in a country where one feels safe to speak her mind; where anything is possible if one works hard enough.

I want my daughter to feel this freedom and pride about her, my, our, country to eternity.

Now 30+ years later,  Taiwan flourished under democracy.  People voted in their first Taiwanese female President.  People are open-minded and free to criticize the government, though sometimes perhaps too enthusiastically.  Citizens of Taiwan are working on legalizing gay marriage.  Progress!   

And what has become of my adopted motherland, the United States of America?  Executive power has grown over recent years, and no president highlights the risk of this increased power than President Trump.  We should take actions to maintain the balance of powers between the executive, legislative, and judicial branches that is fundamental to our government.  Our Founding Fathers had put in the checks and balances system for a good reason.  And what has become of “building a wall of separation between Church & State”, as famously stated in a letter by Thomas Jefferson addressed to the Danbury Baptist Association in 1802?  That is the kind of wall we need; not a wall between neighboring countries!  The First Emperior of China, Qin Shi Huang, had already built The Great Wall of China more than two thousand years ago.  Emperial China in isolation has already proven self-destructive.

We need to learn from history.  We need to speak out for one another.  With the dizzing array of presidential cabinet nominees, conflicts of interests, family ties, financial ties, we are playing whack-a-mole at a lightning speed.  It seems as though we are traveling and swapping roles back in time.  Whoosh, whoosh!

My Republican mother-in-law said to give The President a chance.  She was vehemently against Clinton because of Monica Lewinsky.  I did not point out to her that it was Ms. Clinton that was on the ballot; nor did I point out the obvious difference between consensual sex in an unfortunate adultery case versus flagrant sexual assault against innocent beauty contestants and women at large.  I let the communication drop, because my heart broke for her.  I really hope she will not regret her choice one day.  My Republican neighbor said The Donald is going to be able to balance America’s checkbook, “look at his wealth!  He’ll know how to fix America.”  I now park my car on the other side of the street.  For someone to only look at their pocketbook and their bottom line while turning a blind eye to racism, sexism, misogyny, bigotry, and exploitation, that shows me who they are as a family more than what they tell me who they are.

My relatives and friends living in the “Red States” told me how lucky I am that I live in California.  “Your senators and your representatives are already working for you!”  They are right!  I see Kamala Harris on the news, telling listeners her office number and whom to call to help them with the new immigration ban.  I see Elizabeth Warren on the news, closely examining the nominees and speaking her mind.  I see Bernie Sanders, Robert Reich, Ted Lieu, Tammy Duckworth.  I see the millions of women marching around the world just last month!  I am profoundly grateful for all those who marched, who protested, who cared.  Together we need to speak out for our fundamental human liberty and civil rights!

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Now What?

What. A. Day.

Starting from the poster making with friends, explaining to Plumster what and why we are marching, taking the train to downtown LA in jam-packed cars, to finally stepping out onto sun-kissed Pershing Square, and be surrounded by the phenomenal crowd; oh the chants, the songs, and all the creative, positive energy.  We absorbed it all like hungry malnourished plants in a drought.  On the train ride home, a mother mused out loud to no one in particular, “I wonder if what we did today made a difference.”

Did we?

On the face of it, what with the social media coverge, the 670+ sister marches around the globe from Anarctica to Nigeria to Hong Kong, with the 5 million participants, we must have made a difference, right?

The truth of the matter is, I am not sure.  We can march, and make posters, and “like” and “heart” all the posts we want, but did we make a difference in the future we are trying to leave to our children?  Is there anything else we can do, after such an energizing AND exhausting day?

Well yes!  The march is just the beginning.  You can go to Women’s March website and start the 10 actions in 100 days.  Here are some of my suggestions to do at home while the iron is hot:

  1. Subscribe to professional journalism.  Sure, I rely on the trending feeds on my facebook, or the New York Times free 10 articles a month as much as anyone.  To ensure our source is reliable in order to hold our new administration accountable, we need honest, in-depth news report from the professionals.  We need the feeds from people who were trained and have the time to gather data, analyze their findings, and, report in thoughtful ways.  And we need to pay for their hard work!  Go ahead, take you pick: New York Times, Washington Post, LA Times, The Wall Street Journal.  How about something for your listening pleasure?  Donate to NPRKCRW?  Instead of accidentally picking up propaganda fed by the Kremlins, let’s pay our fellow Americans for doing their job.  And no, I do not have any financial disclaimer to disclose.
  2. Don’t let the political parties divide nor define us.  Our elections have turned into a political sport, what with the Red team and the Blue team going against each other at all cost, including, not the least, supporting an unfit presidential candidate.  I believe that despite our political and religious differences, we all want basically the same things!  We all want shelter, food, health, human decency, clean air, and to be with people we love.  Don’t we?  We all want to leave a clean environment to our children.  Don’t we?  We all want to teach our children to do the right things.  Don’t we?  So what difference does it make if someone prays to a different God?  Or decide that they want to spend the rest of their lives with someone of the same gender?  Or want to be able to carry their guns in a safe way?  Let’s not let the political parties divide us!  Prepare and educate yourself by reading from reliable resources (see point 1).  If you care about health care, education, environmental, and human rights issues, does that make you a disloyal Repulican if you vote for a Democartic candidate?  No!  That makes you a well informed voter.  Your party’s politicians don’t own you.  They work for you.  You do not, and I repeat, YOU DO NOT, have to vote for a candidate because he or she is your party’s nomenee.
  3. Reach out to one another.  Are you the lone climate change believer in your family’s Thanksgiving dinner?  Join your local groups, talk with people who share similar values, energize and don’t despair!  You are not alone!  There really are people who believe in civil rights, gender equality, climate change, doing more to save our planet, basic human decency, and taking care of each other’s medical needs.  There are so many of us around the world!  You saw us today!  We are with you.
  4. Plan for a visit to another American city for a vacation!  Meet the people who put Trump where he is.  Visit their grocery stores, local libraries, cafes, their local attractions.  Engage.  And most importantly, LISTEN!  Listen to their grievences, formulate positive connections.  Nothing infuriate them more than a know-it-all-city-bloke coming down to lecture them.  Listen and engage in a positive manner.  Then, and only then, should you voice your opinion.
  5. Realize your New Year’s Resolution.  It’s been twenty one days since we rang in 2017.  Did you make your resolution?  If not, what would you like to improve this year?  For me, I want to get back to an exercise routine, make more home-cooked, healthy meals, spend more quality time with little Plumster and MK, and participate in more research projects.  In the wise words of Confucious (or the fortune cookies), “don’t try, just do”.  It will energize you, make you happier and want to change the world.

Below are some pictures from Women’s March in Los Angeles, if you would like to see:



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My Fish, Obsidian 

 This is my fish, Obsidian.  

He sleeps on its side like a human and enjoys swimming up-side-down.  

We got him from a pet shop the day after my daughter won his ex-bowl mate, Ash, in the famed LA-based 626 night market.  Ash died soon after, like all carnival terrorized/caught fish.  But Obsidian was born in a pet shop and did not have the crazy life style that Ash did.  So he lived.  He’s been with us for over 4 months now.  

I seem the be the only one who is attached to him.  Plum asked if she could dissect him.  So I moved Obsidian out of Plum’s bedroom.  Once I made Monkey King watch Obsidian falling asleep.  I wanted to show MK how Obsidian would just float up to the surface and turn either to his side or up-side-down, depending on his mood I suppose, as he fell asleep.  “But you have to be really quiet and don’t move!  So that you can see how our fish fall asleep!”

“Oh how fun.  Just how I want to spend my Friday evening!” MK lamented. 

And so this is how our fish became my fish.  

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