An Angeleno’s Rite of Passage

We finally did it!  Made it official and became true Angelenos.  We did a three-week “detox” program.

My life as a physician-researcher-book-editor-radiosurgery-director-mother-wife (in no particular order, mind you) required all of my time.  I was up to five cups of coffee a day; chowing down oily greasy food delivery during lunch while typing clinic notes; and barely getting by our daily family meals with frequent takeouts.  When I was tired, I downed more coffee.  MK was the same way.  9pm came around, and you can hear the espresso machine being turned on in my house because one of us needed a shot to get through more work.

To my good fortune, as I was surrounded by good friends gathered to celebrate my birthday, we were discussing healthy life styles. KK mentioned the CLEAN program that she and her husband have been following for a few years.  “Get the book, read it, and follow it.  We do it at least once a year.  You are going to love it”, she said to me.

I ordered the book on the spot.  Two days later, the book arrived at my door.  Written by Alejandro Junger, MD, this book started out with anecdotes about how he himself got into the business of building a leaner, more efficient machine that is the human body.  I won’t go into the scientific, physiologic detail here, but it does look plausible that by shunting the body’s digestive energy away by giving the body blended/juiced foods without common allergens, one gives the liver a chance to metabolize “toxins”.

As if the stars were lining up for my path to CLEAN, Dr Junger just happened to be giving a talk in Venice a few days after the arrival of my book.  Naturally, I took this opportunity to hear the information straight from the horse’s mouth.  Basically, it’s a 21-day program.  He boiled it down to this simple plan: we “drink” our breakfast and dinner and eat a “solid meal” for lunch for people who live a normal busy life.  “If you are in a spa and you are just doing yoga and meditating all day, you can drink all your three meals no problem.  But if you are living your normal life, working, then you need a solid meal to sustain you”,  he said to the crowd.  That made sense.  Still, as someone who has never been on a diet, nor “juiced” before, all this blender/juicer business sounded intimidating.

“I suppose I need to get a blender,” I said to my husband.

“Do I need a juicer too if I get a blender?”, I asked KK.

KK had both.  But since we had neither, and I believed in actually eating fruits and vegetables whole for all the nutrition it had to offer including its roughage, I decided to skip juicing recipes, and concentrated my effort on blending my meal.  I found the Magic Bullet 12 piece high-speed blender/mixer system that suits our needs.

In the book, it also talked about purifying our environment.  This made sense as well.  I ordered a water purifying filtration system and had Monkey King install it in our kitchen.  I switched out our dish washing detergent, laundry detergent.  I got an air purifying machine for my basement office in the hospital.

I shopped at Whole Foods and ventured into an aisle I’ve never stepped foot in before: the power foods section!  I was about to hyperventilate the way I did the first few times I stepped into a Babies R Us store when I found out I was pregnant.  All those unfamiliar names and gadgets!  I stayed in that two-feet radius in the store, reading labels, comparing notes, and finally picked up Cacao beans, Chia seeds, and Gogi Berries.

After one month of preparation, I was now armed with the book, the bullet, my beans/seeds/berries.  I managed to convince MK to join me on this journey.   His big milestone birthday was coming up and I wanted him to welcome his big day with the promised radiance and rejuvenation that I read and heard about.

The first two days were not easy.  In fact, it was really, really difficult.  I was not used to not eating dinner, so by 2pm the following afternoon, I was ready to pass out.  A therapist offered me a piece of her carrot, and boy, I savored that little piece of baby carrot like it was the most delicious morsel that has ever landed on this planet earth.  We learned to pack a small snack: a piece of apple,  some carrots, hummus, almond butter.  Our lunch was basically a salad with protein.  Protein could be wild king salmon

IMG_2732

or grilled chicken

IMG_2773

By the third day, our bodies finally got the message that it really was not getting dinner anymore.  We took the matters into our own hands and decided that we were going to make our lunch really spectacular.  I stayed up late at night making my grilled rack of lamb with rosemary, thyme and garlic; duck leg confit (without the wine of course); cumin and curry quinoa with celery, onion and pine nuts.  Sorry guys, no pictures to show as these meals were devoured in mere minutes when lunchtime rolled around.  While supposedly taking a break from eating so that our bodies can concentrate on detoxing, my mind ironically took the opposite approach and sharply focused itself on anything food-related.  We talked incessantly about the “dirty foods” we were going to devour once we were off this diet.  I cooked every night and packed our lunch and snacks daily.  I shopped for food twice a week, which was a far cry from the barely once a week of yesterdays.  I started  shopping at our local Farmer’s market on Saturday mornings again so that I can get the freshest ingredients.

IMG_2810

There’s something to be said about buying fresh, organic foods straight from the people who grew them; and buying the wild caught salmon by the fisher man who caught and sliced them just the day before.  What gifts these hard-working folks are offering us!

For our date night during CLEAN, we had our “dinner” at this juice bar in Venice called Moon Juice.

IMG_2831

The interior is cute, fresh, and neatly stocked with jars of items that are now as familiar to me as flavors in a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream store.

IMG_2819They have an extensive menu, full of yummy mixology offerings

IMG_2818 The “bartender” was quite knowledgeable and we chatted about the merits of different nuts and seeds.

IMG_2829We went apple picking to gather organic fruits straight from the trees!

IMG_3028MK’s appearance improved dramatically.  He no longer had bags under his eyes.  His jaw line sharpened and rid itself of the puffiness that was starting to accumulate.  His abdominal six-packs reappeared.  His skin glowed and I looked at him in awe.  “Wow, you look really great!”, while silently wondering what the heck had this program done for me.  Being a scientist and needing numbers for quantification purposes, I started to weigh myself once a week.  Lo and behold, I lost about 5.7 lb in less than 3 weeks.  People at work took notice and our receptionist told me that my skin looked like porcelain.  Ha!

Today marked the end of our three-week program dedicated to improve our health.  We celebrated our first solid dinner with pan-seared Ahi tuna with thyme, rosemary and coarsely crushed pepper, and a bottle of red wine.

IMG_3257The tuna was delicious.  As we drank our wine and had our lovingly prepared meal, I can’t help but feel FULL.  All those nights going to bed daydreaming about how ridiculously happy I was going to be to finally eat a solid dinner?  It felt like a non-issue now.  My body has de-cluttered itself, and it wants to keep itself trim and neat.  We had a piece of Belgium chocolate after dinner and the giddiness I thought I was sure going to feel was lacking as well.

In fact, right before bed, I went straight to the kitchen and cut up the ripe papaya that MK picked up from the market today.  I am dreaming about the fresh papaya, raspberry, coconut and spinach shake that I am going to have tomorrow morning.

Posted in EATS, HEALTH, HOME | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

It Was A Long Way To Get Them Apples

IMG_2964

The Monkey clan went apple picking today.  It was sort of a spur of the moment thing.  We wanted to get out of the city, be with Nature, and have fun!

To a New York expat, Fall is associated with apple picking.  However, because apple trees require frigid-cold winter, apple orchards are hard to come by in Southern California.  But once an idea is seeded in my brain, I can’t settle for anything else.  A family meeting ensued, and we all agreed that our expedition was going to be an organic apple orchard so that we can eat the fruits as we pick them.

Lo and behold, MK found us The Stetson Creek Ranch which is about a 2+ hours drive, one way.

The scenic drive towards San Bernardino National Forest  Mountains was magnificent.  Once we reached the entrance of the orchard, we had to go off on a rather rugged dirt road for another two miles.  Although it allowed two-way traffic, it was technically a single-lane road.  Our excitement and sense of adventure escalated as we followed the apple signs and bumped our windy way into the orchard.

sign

A friendly lady welcomed us and gave us each a long wooden handle apple picker.  She also warned us about the BEARS that love to visit the orchard.

“There are BEARS here?” I asked incredulously.

“Of course, we are surrounded by National Forest AND we have apples.  Those bears sure love our apples!”

“Humm… so what do we do if we see a bear?”  I asked the next logical question.

“The bears sleep during the day, plus my husband is armed.  Don’t worry!” she reassured me, and gave me a broad smile.

Her armed husband, unfortunately, was nowhere to be seen.  I mentally calculated how loud I would have to scream to alert her husband.  But ok, we did ask to be with Nature and drove a long way to pick ourselves some organic apples this weekend.  We selected the size of our bag (half-bushel for $25) and off we went, bear or no bear! 

In the backdrop of the glorious forest mountain, we soon forgot about the bear warning.  The Monkey clan was giddy with delight, as we were surrounded by these magnificent trees pregnant with apples.  The apple picker was very easy to use.  Soon we were harvesting all over the orchard, eating our fruits as we walked, filling our half-bushel bag in no time.

IMG_3034

  IMG_2948

IMG_2961

10710789_10152664011067702_2875142255248148089_n

After our bellies and bag were happily filled with fragrant, freshly picked Rome apples, we chatted with our friendly Apple Lady and praised her gorgeous orchard.  We were told that Mr Richard Stetson acquired the original livestock ranch, situated in the San Bernardino National Forest in the early 1900’s.  With its 5,700 feet elevation, rich soil, and plenty of snow in the winter, the Stetsons planted many apple trees, including Rome, Winesep, Stayman, Red Delicious, and others.  For over 100 years, this apple orchard grew without any use of pesticides.

Plumster asked if we can return next weekend…despite the 4+ hour round-trip.  Aha!  Now you know that these apples are good.  As much as we like to be with Nature, 4+ hour drive is definitely not on our weekly weekend agenda.  We will, however, definitely return next Fall and make our annual Apple Pilgrimage as part of our Monkey family tradition.

IMG_3031Our friendly Apple Lady!

Stetson Creek Ranch: http://www.stetsoncreekranch.com/

Posted in EATS, HOME, KIDS | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

First Kiss

kisser

Plumster asked me this morning, “Mommy, do you remember when Daddy kissed you for the first time?”

Me, not knowing where this was going, thus did not want to divulge:  Maybe…not really.

Plumster:  Well, were you pleasantly shocked?

Me:  Yes, I was.  Of course.

Plumster:  I would be shocked too if a boy kissed me; except I will be shocked shocked, not pleasantly shocked.  Then I will PUNCH him in the face and say, “Hey Mister, whatcha doing?  Watch where your mouth goes!”

I am not one to condone violence, but I find her instinct to fend off boundary intruders acceptable, even admirable.  At the end of a lengthy discussion, we concluded that no punching was necessary.  She would have the boy ASK FOR PERMISSION before he can kiss her when the time comes, which I hope, is not for another 10 years.

Posted in HOME, KIDS, PARENTING | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Girls Day Out

photo 1

My foodie friend Y recently gifted me with a cooking class for my birthday.  Because we don’t get to see each other often, she suggested doing an activity together.  My choices were cooking class or spa.  Being that we both love to cook, the choice was a no-brainer.

She chose this place called EATZ in Hollywood: http://www.eatzla.com/.  We decided to take the most practical class: “Weeknights Made Easy”; because let’s face it, we can all use a little help in making our weeknights run a little easier.

When I stepped in, I was immediately greeted by the instructor, Portia, who introduced herself and showed me the appetizer, wine and iced tea by the doorway.  What I noticed was the airy, spacious room occupied by a large inviting island in the center.  Stations were already set up for each group: cutting board, propane stove, a drawer stocked with knives, wooden spoons, tongs, forks, knives and spoons.

Items on the menu were:

  • Italian Sausage and Artichoke Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms
  • Pan Seared Skirt Steak with Herbed Rice and Jalapeno & Avocado Dressing
  • Cinnamon Spice Rubbed Pork Tenderloin with Caramelized Apples and Onions
  • Chicken with Grilled Romaine Salad and a Pistachio Mint Pesto
  • Handcrafted Donuts with Ginger Sugar & Orange Chocolate Glaze Toppings

We asked ourselves, how on earth were we going to make a five entree meal in two and a half hours.  The answer presented itself soon enough: there were two helpers who came around to clean up our dirty dishes, pots and pans.  Everything was prepped and washed.  All we had to do was to cook it.  Now that really is weeknights made easy if we can take these helpers home!

Because the class was from noon to three, I devoured my first course: Portobello mushroom stuffed with Italian sausage, before I had the mind to take some pictures.  Sorry guys!

Here is the Cinnamon Spice Rubbed Pork Tenderloin with Caramelized Apples and Onions:

photo 4

Y tenderizing the skirt steak with her fork:

photo 5

Chicken with Grilled Romaine Salad and a Pistachio Mint Pesto

photo 3

Hand crafted doughnut and doughnut holes!

photo 5

There was so much food that I packed most of my meals in food containers that they readily supplied.  Everyone was super friendly and the environment was chill and relaxed.  You get to sip a glass of wine while cooking and eating with your friends.  Y and I promised each other to make this a double date next time!

contact_copy4

PS When we give talks in a conference, we often have to start with a disclosure.  A prerequisite if your project or study was sponsored by a drug company, since your result could possibly be biased.

PPS Disclosure: None.  This post was not sponsored by any company.

Posted in EATS | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Supermoon, Sunrise, Meteor Shower

supermoonsunrise

Serendipitously caught Supermoon this past weekend, sunrise this morning, and am now enjoying the Perseid meteor shower in the backyard.  If I don’t have to get up in four hours to get ready for work, I’d brew myself a pot of loose leaf Alishan oolong tea, and just hang out in the backyard until 3am.  Apparently that is when the meteor shower is the brightest.

I am not a big sky buff.  In fact, I am probably the least qualified person you know to show you where Orion is, let alone Perseid constellation.    But more and more, I am drawn upward.  Just look up at the sky!  Our sky offers us a glimpse into the wonders of our universe.

My puppy runs around in the yard, sniffing in the cool night air, wondering why we are out so late.  “Oh there’s one!”  I pointed out another comet detritus that just slammed into our planet to the pup.  She looked up and wagged her tail.  Love.  Mother Earth.  Peace.  Brilliant.  Heavenly.

Posted in MUSING | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Doctors Don’t Eat

robot

Had the following conversation with my scheduling staff:

Staff: I am going to have the patient come in on Friday to see you at 12.

Me: Why?  I thought he was scheduled to see me at 1pm.

Staff: Yeah, but he has to see the nurse before he sees you, so I asked him to come in at 11:30am to see the nurse; that way he can see you at 12.

I decided to say this even though I knew what the answer would be: Why can’t he see me at 1pm and see the nurse at 12:30?

Staff: Oh, the nurse has to go to lunch.

Me: and I don’t need lunch?

Staff: I thought doctors don’t eat.  Do you eat lunch?

I have been working with her for over 5 years.  She diligently takes hers on the dot.

Yes, I often don’t eat.  That is not because I don’t need to eat; it is because I don’t get to eat.  Hospital supporting staffs often assume that doctors don’t need breaks, don’t need to eat, don’t need anything else but work and more work; without complaints, without rest.  Partially it is my fault, because I have allowed them to treat me that way.

Physician burnout is a real problem.  According to JAMA Internal Medicine Mayo Clinic study, U.S. physicians are more likely to have symptoms of burnout and work-life imbalance compared to average Americans.  Physicians are overworked, overwhelmed and worse, unable to admit it.  Nobody wants to seem weak.

When I was a second year resident and was carrying Plumster during my third trimester, I was made Chief resident.  There were three male residents my year or senior and could have easily taken the honor and responsibility.  Instead of asking for help to share the responsibility, I shouldered it, alone, covering a crazy hectic academic department with two junior first-year residents who needed supervision.  I didn’t want to seem weak.  I didn’t want them to think that being an expectant mother would interfere with my work.  After a month of this grueling  role, I had a black out in the middle of the hallway, en route to answer two pages, while seeing a patient, with five more in line for the afternoon.  The nurses there had the good sense to sit me down and take my vitals and immediately wanted to send me to the Emergency Department.  Then, even then, I protested, worrying who was going to cover the afternoon tumor board if I was gone.  Nurse Janet flagged down a breast surgeon who was walking by.  I still remember this conversation vividly: they asked me, “what would you tell yourself if you were the patient?”  They finally convinced me and Nurse Janet took me to the ED immediately.  Pre-term contractions.  I knew Plum-the-fetus was not ready to be delivered.  Took hours and hours to medically manage and stop the contractions.  I was sent to bed rest until delivery.  Plum Bear came out healthy and I am forever grateful to the team of people who asked me to treat myself as I would my patients.

Work-life imbalance.  Type A personality.

Today I have decided that–after listening to my own medical advice eight years ago–I am not a robot.  I am a human, a living being that needs nutrition, hydration, and social interaction.  I will exercise what I preach.

Posted in CAREER, HEALTH | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Lessons from Monkey King

skip rock

Monkey King has been trying to teach our little Baby Monkey various life lessons since she was born.

When she was a day-old newborn, MK was enlisted as part of our nursing team.  His job was to tickle her feet when she fell asleep suckling.  “Wake up, wake up, baby!  You have to keep nursing.  Don’t fall asleep yet!”  A few days later, after we had thankfully and miraculously mastered the art of nursing, our Baby Monkey went above and beyond her call of duty and also excelled in the art of NOT SLEEPING.

Monkey King’s lesson plan quickly took a 180 degree turn and became a lesson on ” How To Fall Asleep”.

Monkey King is a very demonstrative Dad.  When Plum looked alarmingly wide awake with her big chocolate brown eyes in the wee hours of the morning (technically speaking it was the morning, though most people would consider 2am the night), he’d roll over on his side of the bed and said, “Plum, look!  This is how you fall asleep!”  Lo and behold, he’d fall asleep at a blink of an eye.  Not a minute has gone by, and Plum and I would look at him in wonder.  “How did he do that?” I asked Plum as we both struggled with our opposite ideas of appropriate nocturnal activities for a newborn.

As Baby Monkey grew, so did the scope of her lessons.  When Baby Monkey learned to crawl, she started out crawling backwards.  I would sit a few feet in front of her to encourage her crawling.  Though with her eyes trained on me, she kept getting herself further and further away with each crawl and would cry out in panic.  Monkey King would crouch down next to her and demonstrate how to crawl forward towards Mommy.

And forward we moved.  Forward to walking and climbing.  Forward to digital motor skills.  Digital as in fingers.  Lego has been a huge part of MK’s childhood, as evident by the large boxes of Legos that my mother-in-law shipped over to our house when they cleared out MK’s childhood memorabilia from their old house.  The Monkey clan could be seen assembling various colorful ships and carts and animals and playground structures with blocks and wheels and sticks.

Monkey King teaches by demonstration.  He demonstrates his respect for women by respecting us.  He does not filter life lessons based on gender.  He does not “baby” our little monkey because she is a girl.  Heck, he even bought her a skateboard.  As evident with her various playground injuries with her elbow and foot, no one could accuse the Monkey clan of having a porcelain doll of a daughter that’s for sure.

These days, MK could be seen teaching Baby Monkey how to skip rocks into the ocean waves.  Just last weekend, the training wheels were taken off Baby Monkey’s bike.  They sent me a video clip of her riding her bike with glee, while I sat at a medical conference all day with envy.

Oh, and onward and forward we will go, with Monkey King teaching, mostly by demonstration, the various life lessons to his heir.  Here is to a wonderful father.  Happy early Father’s Day, Monkey King!

TO THE FATHERS READING THIS POST, WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO WITH YOUR KID(S)?

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOU HAPPY MEMORIES WITH YOUR FATHER?  WHAT ARE THE VALUES THAT YOUR FATHER INSTILL IN YOU?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in COUPLE, HOME, KIDS, PARENTING | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

This is NOT One of Those Days

vintage housewife

Ever have those days where everything is caught up: the refrigerator is adequately stocked with meats and fresh veggies and drinks for everyone; clothes laundered and neatly folded and put away; patient charts all updated and questions answered; email replied; no piles of paperwork on the desk at work waiting to be completed and filed away; no bills waiting to be paid on the desk at home; living room spotless with carefully curated coffee table books neatly fanned out on the (what else!) coffee table; bathroom smelling fresh and without clutter; closet organized with seasonal outfits; nothing is outdated, outfitted, overrunning, broken.

Well, this is not one of those days.

Doctors in the hospital have this habit of putting in their specialty consultation referral on Fridays.  Doesn’t matter what day of the week the patient is diagnosed to have cancer.  So of course this morning I was handed with three inpatient consults.  I have this timer in my head.  Once I know a patient is mine, I need to get to him or her as soon as I can so that their questions can be addressed; anxiety and fear can be calmed; and their disease can be cured.  Tick-tock, tick-tock.

I had planned to utilize my allotted “research time” on Friday mornings to catch up on my administrative work, including all the endless paperwork that we have to fill out.  Oh well, the paperwork will still be there when I return to my desk.

I’ve been meaning to do some Spring Cleaning for the last three months.  Now that Memorial weekend had ushered in Summer, our house still looks exactly the same.  Not one item has been sorted out.

This is when I daydream of being a stay-at-home mother/wife.  Or at least a part time physician.  In my fantasy, I will have time and energy to attack  the various house chores that come my way.  My house will be spanking clean.  My family happy and satisfied.

Well, wait a minute, my family is happy and satisfied; last I checked, which was this morning.  My daughter was happily reading a newly discovered book series before breakfast.  My dog wagged her tail while snacking on our breakfast left-over.  What about my husband?  Humm… well, he was already out the door by the time the house came alive, so I’ll have to check up on him later tonight.

So what about work?  My patients are well looked after.  I saw all the on-treatment patients just the day before.  They are motivated to get their cancer treated and eradicated.  I am coming in over the weekend to look in on one of them.  Things are not bad.   I have several interesting projects that I am working on.  Busy, but good busy.

Deep breath.

1..2…3…

My paperwork might never be completely filed away; my house may not be fully organized; ha, not to mention my refrigerator, which always seems to run out of stuff at the most inopportune times.    But this half an hour of self reflection in the middle of the day helped me to re-center myself.  As long as everyone is happy and intellectually stimulated, I think I am ok with a little dust and disarray.

OK, time to move on :)

 

Posted in CAREER, COUPLE, HEALTH, HOME, KIDS, MUSING | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

5 Things I am Really Bad at…

There are (well, at least) 5 things that I’m really bad at, and I am in no hurry to correct them.  Here they are, in order of when they pop into my head:

tv

1. Figuring out kid’s channels on our cable TV: When I was little, we had THREE channels on TV.  Cartoons were shown from 5pm to 6pm from Mondays to Fridays, and not on weekends.  The hundreds of channels we have on our remote control these days exhaust me.  I tried, once, to look through the channels, and could not find one single thing I wanted to watch.  Consequently, TV is almost never on in our house except for when we watch movies, or recorded Food Network or HGTV shows.  When Plum comes home from play dates at other people’s house, she tells me about this and that shows or kid/cartoon channels that she sees in her friend’s house, and I promise her that she can go for another play date at that house if she is invited back.

twitter

2. Twitter:  Those hashtags and @ symbols?  Don’t have a clue how to use them.  I get annoyed when I read people’s Facebook posts that are littered with #’s.  I have a feeling that I probably save a lot of free time not knowing.  Perhaps I can save even more time not knowing how to use Facebook?  Humm, you do have a point there.

white shirt

3. Ironing clothes: since my post on ironing, you might be disappointed to find out that I have not yet mastered my ironing skill.  I still keep my respectful distance from fabrics.  What’s more, I have decided that there are other things in life I want to hone my skills on.  Things like making yummy moist carrot cake with crème cheese frosting, or perfecting that elbow lock arm bar with a dramatic spin wrist take down finish.  So adios, iron!

Thanksgiving Holiday Travel Expected To Increase 11 Percent From 2009

4. Driving on the highway: the advantage of growing up in Taipei and New York was the convenience of public transportation.  I relied heavily on buses and subways.  I didn’t get my driver’s license until medical school and driving was not part of my daily life until we moved to Los Angeles.  Because of the late start, I have a healthy dose of fear for driving above 60 miles/hour.  As such, I refuse to drive on the highway.  Granted, 405 during rush hour is practically a parking lot.  But I digress.  Because of this incapacity, the radius of my daily life is approximately 5 miles, which I suspect, makes me a happier person.

fish

5. Holding grudges: Speaking of being a happier person, I have emotional memory of a fish.  Sometimes I laugh in the middle of an argument because somebody says something funny.  Sleeping off steam seems to work just fine for me.  I used to not be this way.  In fact, I used excel in holding grudges.  I’d be able to quote you back, verbatim, how I was particularly mistreated.  During my oral board studying phase, I needed to clean up some valuable real estate space among my neurons in order to store more practical information.  As a result, I realized just how much more relaxed not holding grudges made me.  Besides, what is the point of holding grudges if I can take care of business right away with that perfect elbow lock arm bar with a dramatic spin wrist take down finish ;)  Just kidding!!

Posted in HEALTH, KIDS, MUSING, PARENTING | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Confession of a Taiwanese Mother

CNY

Chinese New Year is upon us!

I feel lonely every year during this time ever since I had a family of my own.  I put in a ton of effort celebrating Thanksgiving with my 8 course homemade Thanksgiving meals.   A month later, Christmas!  Which calls for not just homemade meals, but trees, decorations, presents.  In this country of excess, I do diligence teaching my kid at least my feeling of the meaning of Christmas (me, being a Buddhist) by taking her to volunteer to serve food to the sick; by spending plenty of family time together; and by limiting her Santa “list” to one item.  Still, we can’t escape the commercialism and the omnipresent pressure for people to buy gifts and more gifts.

Then comes the biggest festival in the Asian community: Chinese New Year (CNY), or Lunar New Year.  By now, I am holiday spent.  I can barely make dinner to feed my family after working long days in the hospital, let alone making the kind of spread that my grandmothers used to lavish on for CNY.  By now, I am so glad that my house is finally free of all the Christmas ornaments, that the last thing I want to do is to decorate my house all over again.

Ironically, the Lunar New Year is the biggest holiday I grew up celebrating.  To those who are unfamiliar with CNY celebration, it is akin to having a holiday where you celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas combined together.  The whole country is on vacation.  This is the holiday where everyone in the family gather around to eat nonstop, and we get gift money.  Not tons of presents, but cash money stuffed in red envelopes.  This way, we don’t have to waste time running to the mall, guessing what to buy for whom.  Better yet, we don’t have to waste even more time after the holidays to deal with gift receipts and returns.  In this way, we learned, at a young age, how to manage money: you save some, spend some, and share some.  I remember the sheer delight as a kid after bowing to your elders, be it grandparents, uncles, aunties, great uncles, great aunties; you name it, and we get red envelopes.  We’d count our stash of money, give most of them to our parents to save, and take our “spend” portion.  All the children would run into the stores, squealing, buying that one item that we’ve been coveting for the whole year and buying sweets for ourselves and to share with our friends and cousins.  Everyone was happy sharing our toys and sweets, because by sharing, you get to taste more treats and to play with more toys!

From a child’s perspective, the first day of the New Year is designated to be spent with your father’s family, and the second day, with your mother’s maiden family.  Therefore, on the second day of the New Year, all the married women return to visit her parents with her husband and children in tow.  In this organized manner, there is no confusion over which in-laws get which holiday.   We’d see all of our cousins over this period.  At one time, I counted 36 cousins when we visited on the second day of the New Years with Mom.  Adults hung out, talked politics and played games.  The children ran around mostly unsupervised, enjoying the company of cousins.  There were always food and snacks and fruits on the table.  Since all the snacks and candies had symbolic meanings that supposedly bring fortunes to the family, parents wouldn’t fault you for devouring say, a whole bunch of those yummy sesame seed candies (Oh, but I really want to have a little brother next year!).  Why, you might even be encouraged to take some more of those sesame seed candies!  All the aunts and uncles and grandparents and great grandparents gather around, putting out one lavish meal after another, day after day.  As a child, I didn’t realize how much work that must have been for all the females in the family.  I just remembered it fondly, with a sense of nostalgia for the time long gone.

This is why, despite my holiday fatigue, I sauntered on.  I take out the CNY holiday items that we’ve acquired over the years, and start to put them up one by one.  Perhaps because it really is up to me to uphold my family tradition, I don’t feel the external pressure to put up the tree or the lights because the neighbors have them up.  I decorate my house the way I want it: simple and meaningful.  There is a string of the twelve zodiac stuffed animals in vibrant silk that I hang on the wall.  Beautifully decorated golden dragon and pink lion puppets that Plumster absolutely adores that I hang by the window.  Firecrackers with the word “fortune” on top that I hang on our front door.  A big golden nugget shaped box to house the sweets.  Voila!  CNY decoration is done in our house.

And I will make one lavish meal, so that my family can get a flavor of my childhood New Year.  Plumster will get one red envelope, and we will let her put away a portion to save.  We will take her to the store, so that she may get that one gift that she’s been dreaming of, and hopefully, treasure.

Posted in HOME, KIDS, PARENTING | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments